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Homestuck fics by Sulan94

Reader x Homestuck humans by NPchan

omg by the-tamer0katelynn


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Submitted on
October 4, 2013
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You were merely sitting in the summer heat, feeling like a fucking hot tamale. Why? Because you are sitting inside Dave's closet...watching him get undressed. You can feel your scarce blush creeping up onto your features. HOT DAMN! You were to busy starin' at that fine ass hoe that you didn't notice him going to his closet to get his clothes...whoops.
Guess you forgot that hole in the plan.
You had been caught on multiple occasions trying to watch Dave and Dirk get undressed, that it was almost shameful...almost.
Anyways, Dave opens said closet door and looks at you for a long time before grabbing his clothes and closing the door. HAHA. You made Dave blush. Maybe he was just freaked out by the creeper look you were giving. 0u0
Wow. Thanks Aradia for your creeper smile skills and thank Nepeta for your stalking abilities.
Dave looks back at you through the slit in the door and stare back with the usual: 0u0
"Hai."
"...Hi...Why are you...-"
"Watching you?"
"Yeah..."
"Simple, I think you are sexy. The same goes for Dirk. So I waited through the summer heat just to watch one of you get undressed. If you ask me, totally worth it."
"...____ what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Everything. 0u0"
Dave gives you an unamused look er, what yu think is unamused. He kind of just stares at you for a long time. Like really long. You're starting to get sweaty here. Since there is nothing else to do, you simply shed your clothes.
"____ what are you doing?"
"What's it look like?"
"Dude stop."
"No. This is the homo test. If you refuse me you are a homo in denial."
"Oh my god ____, stop."
"NUUUUUUUU~"
You  tackle-hug him like never before! He falls on his adorably naked bottom. You steal his shades and throw them across the room. Why? Because his eyes emphasize his sexy you retard!
You feel his length poking your thigh and your creeper smile grows larger: 0U0
"Get. Off"
"No. I will do what I want."
"____. Get. Off. NOW."
"Fuck no."
Before he can make another word, you cut him off with a kiss. It is just NOW that Dirk decides to walk in.
"Hey Dav-...oh." He leaves the room and throws a box of something through the door. Oddly enough they land on Dave's face. You read the label to see that they are in fact, condoms. 
"Dave you have the best brother ever."
"____ get the fuck off me."
"Not until we use them bitch!"

And then you proceed to do unspeakable things to Dave Strider. From there it goes downhill when you also decide to use the same method with Dirk. Instead of having to sit on top of him, like Dave, he just skipped straight to the sloppy make-outs and said condoms.
Are you a slut?
What?! NO!
You are simple a Strider Fangirl.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmary-janes:
mary-janes Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New member
Can you hear these explosions?
Yeah.
My ovaries.
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh no!
We must repair them!
I'll get the glitter glue!
Reply
:iconnoregrets029:
noregrets029 Featured By Owner 4 days ago  New member
10/10 would fap again
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Me gusta 
Reply
:iconinsanity1323:
insanity1323 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015
*puts my head on pillow to not making so much noise but fails and laughs like nicki minaj* this is perfect
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
huehuehue
I should hope so [UwU]/)*(\[0w0]
Reply
:iconkkpowercutie:
kkpowercutie Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
...
*laughing my ass off in le back ground*
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*laughing along because i really did try*
Reply
:iconkkpowercutie:
kkpowercutie Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
lol
:-P
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
lel
Reply
:iconkkpowercutie:
kkpowercutie Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I tried
Reply
:iconmeowkatie:
meowkatie Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014
Are you a slut? NO!
I finished this thought before I even read it.
Your just YOU
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're*

And yesh. :meow: preach dat truth Like the sufferer
Reply
:iconerensmainhomie:
erensmainhomie Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2014  New member Student Writer
Laugh LOL

perfect, i love this xD
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I tried to be as funny as possible X3
Reply
:iconerensmainhomie:
erensmainhomie Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  New member Student Writer
cx you did a fab job!
Reply
:iconbakashi-seijuro:
Bakashi-Seijuro Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014  New member
Dave: get out of my closet
me: no
Dave: Lynne get out (that's mah name)
me: no dave
Dave: Jesus fucking Christ why do you have all those pictures of me?
me: they are my brethren
Dave: why are they all of me changing? oh my god do you watch me change?
me: this is my home Dave
Dave: what
me: Im home
Reply
:iconinsanity1323:
insanity1323 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015
Yes "im home"
Reply
:iconcupcakecreep2p:
cupcakecreep2p Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014  Student General Artist
Omg yus I legit just watched that vid
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
OMG
that comic with Dave in the refrigerator was just perfect.

"Im home."

Im done. Goodbye *explodes because this is one of the funniest comments Ive seen*
Reply
:iconrosesalamander:
RoseSalamander Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
SHHH why cant I marry homestuck ;a;
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
BECAUSE HUSSIE HAS NOT RELEASED HIS CHARACTER GENERATOR YET AHODHKGRHR
MAKE ANY CHARACTER FROM HOMESTUCK AND MAKE THEM ADORE YOU!
COMING SOON IN *NEVER*!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconmeowkatie:
meowkatie Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014
WEll, IF YOU MARRI3D ANDR3W HUSSI3,
TH3N H3 COULD T3LL YOU PURRF3CT STORI3S 3V3RY DAY US3ING HIS OWN CHARCT3RS!
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
BUT WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THE LIP GOG LOVING A MORTAL LIKE ME
Reply
:iconrosesalamander:
RoseSalamander Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
-cries-
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*loud screaming*
Reply
:iconrosesalamander:
RoseSalamander Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
DAVE LOVE ME :A:
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO DAVE APH Belarus Senpai Notice Me 
Reply
:iconzappylazers:
ZAPPYLAZERS Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I am a simple strider fan girl. 
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Of course. Everyone wants a piece of that Strider ass.
Reply
:iconshyshykiyomi:
ShyShyKiyomi Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014
dave:shy get the hell out of my closet...
naaaaaaaaaaaaw its my home now and you are my porn
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Pretty much the entire premise of this crack fic.
Congratulations. You get absolutely nothing.
....


JK ILY
Reply
:iconshyshykiyomi:
ShyShyKiyomi Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2014
i love da story doe!
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeey!
I tried to make it as goofy as possible :meow:
Reply
:iconshyshykiyomi:
ShyShyKiyomi Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014
its beautiful XD
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
awww thank you UwU
Reply
:iconshyshykiyomi:
ShyShyKiyomi Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014
no prob
Reply
:iconthesoulmeister:
Thesoulmeister Featured By Owner Edited Oct 17, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Dave: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?!?!
Me: *in a llamas with hats carl voice* well i kill people and I eat hands thats two things
Reply
:iconchilitomato88:
chilitomato88 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014  Student Artist
Dat reference...was awesome aswell infact it all was awesome good job person good job
Reply
:iconthesoulmeister:
Thesoulmeister Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
YOU KNOW LLAMAS WITH HATS?!?!?!
*pauls voice* caarl, what are we standing in?
Reply
:iconltanner02:
ltanner02 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2014
Carl why are they white baby hands
Reply
:iconthesoulmeister:
Thesoulmeister Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Whities gotta pay to
Reply
:iconkiera8741:
kiera8741 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Shhhhh hear that that's the sound of forgiveness 
Reply
:iconthesoulmeister:
Thesoulmeister Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
CARL!
Cal: i have a problem!
Reply
:iconthesoulmeister:
Thesoulmeister Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
XD
Reply
:iconchilitomato88:
chilitomato88 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014  Student Artist
Oh my gurd, you are awesome 0u0
Reply
:iconthesoulmeister:
Thesoulmeister Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
YAAAAY!!!
Reply
:iconxxotakuxgirlxx:
xXOtAkUxGiRlXx Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014  Student Artist
Best. Lemon. EVER. Created. XDD I loved this more than I should've.
Reply
:iconlunarlover88:
lunarLover88 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
awww!
Thanks dearie! ^3^
Reply
:iconxxotakuxgirlxx:
xXOtAkUxGiRlXx Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2014  Student Artist
~( o v o ~) Welcome
Reply
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